I haven't been on my blog in quite a long while as i've found i've resorted to a diary. in which i question and think about everything in regard to direction and happiness and goals. and snippets of little things ive included. though i thought i would post something on my loves at the moment. i am having such a hard time at home. though a breath of fresh air! finally we are moving. my dad has got his act together for the first time. i can't stand it here. and i guess when you can't stand where you're living and you can't stand your family then you get pretty unhappy. more or less lately i feel like i have no control over any aspects in my life. and my real dilemma has been trying to figure out how to change that. oneday i want to see the world. i want to live overseas sometime. and live the life i would like to live. this year im learning french. i think it would be good to be fluent in something. and it is one of the top three most known languages. and such a beautiful country to be in, where all the artists are.
so, after going off the topic, loves.
im loving blueberries. blueberries! i have never liked them before and suddenly they have a completely different texture and taste, nothing like what they were to me before and i feel like i can't live without them.
im loving avacado, and salmon.
either or. and hating the hundreds of mosquito bites all over me!
lately ive been making a big book of salad recipes in a really nice flip book moleskin.
i find them too expensive for diaries. as i find i am such a fool with what i write. never consistent. in topic or sound of my speech. and my writing is always changing.
i love blogs just as much but don't spend half enough time on the computer to write one. if i did. and was constantly near one i would.i might this year. instead of a diary. propperly write. and delete all my posts from before as mostly i hate them all!!!
lately im loving my music. i recently made 23 cd's for a roadtrip with my friend. though she kept the cd's- sorting through some of my music was long and painful but ended up being fantastic. as i have so many different likes putting them into different catagories, different sounds, like earthy music of john mayer and andrew bird. ive found with so much of my music i like single songs for a period, as even amongst genre's only single songs fit into the feel of things. i guess im really a mixtape girl. music is the best when needing to get away when sitting at home. my neighbourhood has become trendy and is really expensive. but still feels like ghetto town. i hate the hot heat and no shade. bare parks. seeing the other side of things, the kids, the kind of crowd that live around i dislike. i don't like knowing everystreet and being certain to see faces ive already seen. on the stifling 43 degree day. i found a perfect place. sitting under this quiet deserted bridge. cool. but with a strong warm breeze, the wind was amazing.and i was listening to simon garfunkels song. it was a perfect sanctuary. i was in complete bliss. and smiled from ear to ear.